Crazy Inventions People Thought Were Great Ideas – Part 1
Without some creative inventors we would not have cars, computers, internet etc. But some inventions should not see the daylight. You will not believe, but these inventions listed below are 100% real and patented. Each of them is original and functional in its own way. The absurdity of these masterpieces of engineering is simply amazing. Check out the most absurd and stupid inventions that have been patented.
Also check: 16 Most Famous Products With A Military Heritage
1. Bino Cap
Patented in 1992, for those who can’t stand holding up the binoculars.
2. Bird Powered Blimp
Patented in 1887, you strap large birds (eagles, falcons, etc.) to the top bar and hope they fly. The “Conductor” has a ship’s steering wheel connected to the birds’ perches which guides them in the direction desired. Need to stop? What kind of blimp brakes do you employ? Nets!
3. Bird Trap Cat-Feeder
Patented in 1971, this contraption traps sparrows for neighborhood cats. As described by the inventor: “Heretofore, the sparrow has greatly proliferated, thereby taking the place of more popular birds, such as the canary, blue bird, wren, swallow, and other birds that are appealing to the eye and enjoyable to listen to. The invention provides means for continuously trapping sparrows and supplying cats with a supply of sparrows. The cat feeder by its design is self-cleaning since the cat quickly learns to remove the sparrow from the cage.”
4. Bumper Dumper
Patent issued in 2000, for when you’re camping or tailgating and don’t want to take a dump in a bush just attach it to the hitch of your truck, and voilà!
5. Chute ‘N Shoes Fire Escape
Patented in 1879, before fire codes existed. According to the inventor; “…a person may safely jump out of the window of a burning building from any height, and land, without injury and without the least damage, on the ground”. The headgear’s parachute is made from waxed awning material and the slip-on safety shoes have thick foam pads to cushion your landing.
6. Cranial Greeting Card
Surprisingly, patented in 2000, for when you really want to make an entrance to any party.
7. Dieter’s Dam
Patented in 1989, according to the inventor, this is “used to inhibit food intake by providing a mechanical and emotional barrier, while at the same time permitting normal speech and mastication”. You stick the self adhesive pads (10a & 10b) on your cheeks and the arc-like rigid barriers will leave your lips free to flap but should prevent you from eating, or having too many friends.
8. The ATS (All Terrain Stroller)
Patent issued in 1947. How do you deal with pushy crowds, broken sidewalks and curbs that must be circumvented at every corner? Stick your baby in this torpedo with tank tracks and s/he will (in theory) experience a smooth, quiet ride, gliding over virtually any surface, no matter how rough. There’s even a convenient hand brake on the ATS just in case you mow down a pedestrian!
9. The Banana Suitcase
Patented in 2003. And no, it isn’t a whole suitcase shaped like a banana. Just a banana holder. I double checked to see if there was, in fact, a suitcase shaped like a giant banana.
10. The Beach Boot
Patented in 1998, these are like rollerskates for the beach, but mechanical! Each Beach Boot is powered by a mini-motor and battery pack concealed in it’s sole. To move forward, you simply activate a toe-controlled switch mounted in your boot. The mini-motors kick your Beach Boots into gear and probably, instead of moving forward, your body weight will cause the puny caterpillar tracks to proceed to dig a hole in the sand, right out from under you. Or toss you on your ass.
11. The Big Hair Hat
Patented in 1962, when hair was, well, bigger.
12. The Butt Helmet
Patented in 1979, to save the asses of skateboarders everywhere.
13. The Calf Carrier
Patented in 1992, to help solve those issues when you need to carry your calf, but both your hands are full.
14. The “Cry-No-More” Strap-On Pacifier
Patented in 2000, in order to prevent a baby from spitting out their pacifier when you just want them to shut up. This device firmly affixes the pacifier to baby’s face by looping security straps around his or her little ears!
15. The Dad Saddle
Patent issued in 2002. For some reason, I don’t see this as only being used by kids.
16. The Dimple Drill
Patented in 1896 for people who wished they had dimples. This dimple-producing device has a rounded tip made of either ivory, marble or India rubber. To produce the dimple, simply press the Dimple Drill’s tip on the desired dimple-lacking area and turn the knob, rotating the dull tip on your face, like a drill. The inventor says it may also be used to nurture and maintain already existing dimples.